Sometimes, the budgie you let fly around the house to cheer up and bring joy to the house will fly straight to the back of the wardrobe like a ballistic missile, screaming, "Don't love me, I told you I was trouble, I told you I'd upset you, I told you you'd be sad..." Then it starts screaming, "I'm stuck here, I need to get out of here, I could die!" People who say, "I'm trouble," are usually the ones who make the most fuss when something hurts. It's the same with animals. As you sweat and try to move a three-hundred-pound wardrobe, you think to yourself, "I wish there were robot vacuum cleaners instead of budgies. You let them out and they first explore a house, learn, and then they say, "Okay, man, I figured it out," and start wandering around on their own. I wish I had bought one of those.

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