Having consulted with top Harley Street specialists, the St Anne’s Jombulance Brigade and Professor Witty, (who I never found funny?) the one that did Covid, (the bald one), Count Arthur Strong has decided to gradually phase in his farewell to the nation with a tour over a, as yet to be specified, number of parts because of the likelihood of people doing cold turkey in theatres over him. Whilst partial himself to a bit of cold turkey, particularly with some sliced up gherkin and a squirt of salad cream in a sandwich, it is banned in most theatre auditoriums, (apart from in the north east), because of it getting trodden into the carpets etc, and the cumulative smell. To avoid any inconvenience, you can now watch Arthur in the comfort of your own home filmed live during this never to be forgotten start to his farewell tour.

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